Jon's status was "hungover"

me: dude, me too!

hungover

jonhua: nice

iamno longer

sorry

i will update
jonhua's new status message - studying 10:04 AM

me: ah, cocktease

jonhua: ahahah

jonhua's new status message - cocktease 10:04 AM

Group chats are fun

Shaiya: no way

like sachin's tennis coach

Sachin Gandhi: you mean thor?

thor schreck?

Shaiya: i just got pregnant

Sachin Gandhi: that is not appropriate

You keep using that word...

"You should get a Playboy."
-My mom, to me

There in spirit

From: Jon Hua
Lick a new hire.

Received:
Sat May 23, 1:53 pm

.....

From: Jared
Ro drunk

Received:
Sat May 23, 7:06 pm

....

From Jared
Sodrunk how is nfi

Received:
Sat May 23, 9:29 pm

And it was GOOD

Narges: i cant stop thinking about the stupid microwave brownie

i keep thinking "im only a minute away from brownie"

I just have the one, really

mujihoshi: okay, see we have different cow priorities

It might be a soft J

"Jogging... it's weird. Just run somewhere."
-Tim

I did not

"I saw your vagina by the way."
-Tim

And now...

"You know, I used to be a super guy, but then I stopped eating dairy."
-Colin, on why he's no longer a "super guy"

Post-explosion realization

Andy: oh my god, our fridge food

hurry, pg&e!

Text out of nowhere

From: Nick
Lingerie is like the sprig of parsley they put on my 32 oz steak

Received:
Fri Jun 5, 9:57 am

So true

Shaiya: i was just going to say

it takes a lot of balls (literally and figuratively) to come (literally and figuratively) after Phelps