One of us, one of us

Andy: and it'd be hella easier to park

(i think that was my inaugural bay area use of the word "hella")

it just came so naturally

Excellent sleuthing

Andy: i think shaun bishop is writing for the san mateo county times
because.. this story i'm looking at is writtten by him
hm that's an interesting theory

I hope I play the John Cusack part

Lisa: i often imagine your life to be an 80s teen movie

Neither is normal corn, really

"No, candy corn isn't a vegetable. Candy corn doesn't count."
-A mom in the gro sto to her son

He does have a certain way of walking

Andy: i got red wine spilled on me friday night

and somehow washed it all out the next day

i feel like i'm some sort of jesus

Surprising, I know

me: i will now put on the soundtrack to "Spring Awakening"

i can say some things that will make me seem more manly

on friday, i went to a yacht club and got drunk on really expensive scotch

saturday i played rock band and won $$$ playing poker

and sunday i banged many, many hookers

while smoking a cigar

Kirstin: what?!

yacht club?!

Political solution

"I'm going to go live on an island and eat bananas. Live just with the animals. Feed them and they'd lick me. I am their master."
-Old man on the ferry this morning

Glad I didn't see the game

"You guys got punked by a bunch of Mormons."
-Michael

This is a crisis?

"Like, I always want to push people off subway platforms."
-Jessica

He is quite the redneck

From: Mike

Dude i think im gonna do one of those red neck mustache u know with no beard.

Received:
Fri Sep 12, 3:03 pm

Oompa Loompas have all the positions anyway

Kate: note to self, despite fun-sounding job description, do not get job at popcorn factory
it's all willy-wonka-esque fun and games till somebody gets cancer

She's similar to...

"But sprinkle some slut on top."
-Nick

Regarding Track Palin's alleged drug abuse

Andy: is it wrong for me to love this?

oh well. i love it.

If only

"We don't have the luxury of eating a whole deer and laying in the sun for a couple of days."
-Colin

Wait... what?

from: Mom
to: me
date: Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 9:58 AM
subject: Re: Pants

Navy is the new black. Always has been.

Don't we all

Andy: peace i'm outtie.

ah, i wish they'd put clueless on tv tonight.

I did a little

Drunk guy - (to Nick) "You look like a guy I used to live next to." (turning toward me) "And you look like me."

It really does

"Uggh, armpit. That's not like ass dude, that smell cuts you."
-Jeff

Best question via email EVER

from: Mom
to: me
date: Tue, Sep 2, 2008 at 1:36 PM
subject: Re: Packaging fail!

I LOVE it !! : )

By the way... What was it that sent Beavis over the edge to Cornhulio? Candy?

Strangely inspiring and reassuring

Jessica: remember- no matter how bad things get, there are WHALES out there in that ocean you are looking at

and that's just amazing