Dirty Wednesday

"Moist vagina. Hide that in your blog."
-Ben

Funny for so many reasons

"She's not ugly. She's a heavy-set black woman, but she's not ugly."
-Ben, on the phone with the boss

Make it to-go

"I'd like an extra large mocha latte and a blowjob."
-Ben, after I told him about this
Baristas charged with Prostitution

Who, who?!

"What I'd like to do is throw them under the bus..."
-Ben, calmly on the phone

Haha... "junk"

"Is my e-mail going to your junk?"
-Ben, to the boss

He is a busy guy

Ben: "Colin, Lynn's holding for you."
Colin: "Who's Lynn?"
Ben: "Lynn, your girlfriend."

January 2, 8:29 am

Me - "Hey Ben. No more 'Joy to the World'?"
Ben - "We're fucking done with that shit."

I would have

Ben - "Colin did you put those IOs in the file?"
Colin - "No, I through them on the ground and stomped on them."
me - "Then I burned them."
Colin - "Oh Zac, don't exaggerate."

"No, I met her before"

me - "Is she little? She looks little."
Ben - "She's got a big mouth."

... Ladies

Ginny - "Did you gong me?"
Ben - "I didn't gong you yet."

But I haven't been to Vegas for months...

me - "Hello?"
Ben (office manager) - "Hi Zac, your wife is holding on line one."
me - "My wife? I'm pretty sure it's for the other Zach."
Ben - "Oh. Yeah. Probably."